What to Expect When Expecting #2
I can’t even believe I’m already over 38 weeks and baby #2 could be here any day now. The last 5 years it has always just been Harper! It kind of just hit me that she'll actually be an older sister and I will have two kiddies in our household. Side note: did I mention our new home was delayed, so we are currently residing in a typical Toronto-sized condo at the moment? We have our fingers crossed that we get a confirmed move-in date soon! Needless to say, despite having the baby’s clothes stored in a large Adidas gym bag beside the bassinet in our bedroom, we are going with it … and I’m confident it will be OKAY!
Who am I kidding? I am worried AF about how it’s going to be with baby #2. I literally forget everything and truth be told, I don’t even have an infant car seat yet. That’s on our to-buy list this weekend. I dusted off some old books from when I had Harper and started reading them again to try and refresh my memory about what to expect. But from speaking to other mommy friends, having baby #2 is a whole different ball game because you also have your first to think about too!
With that said, I asked some amazing IG mama friends who have been in my exact shoes to share some advice on what to expect when expecting #2. So, if you’re also expecting another bundle of joy, this article is for you. Don’t worry – we’re all in this together and I’m sure there is enough coffee and wine (when it’s time) to go around! Read on to hear some valuable advice from moms I adore and respect!
I had the pleasure of meeting Amy when she was in Toronto last year for an event and she is exactly the cool mama she portrays herself to be on Instagram with her two little boys. I just love her!
Here is her advice in her own words: “As you approach your due date, soak up all the time with Harper & your hubby before the dynamic of your family changes. Enjoy these last days and weeks as a family of 3. Then once baby arrives, really try to make sure Harper gets some one on one time with you. And most importantly enjoy ALLLLLL the newborn snuggles and moments. It goes even faster the second time round. Let the little things go and just be present with your family!”
I recently virtually met Katusha on IG and instantly fell in love with her feed! From interior design inspo to pics of her two beautiful daughters, I couldn't get enough!
Here is her advice: “If you know your are expecting a second and think your oldest is going to be ready to potty train soon, I would strongly suggest doing it BEFORE the baby come as it is WAY less stressful... And sign up for a wine subscription service.”
Hands down one of my fave mamas to follow on the gram! I should also mention she designs the most adorable accessories from kitty cat wristlets to unique baby gifts. You gotta check out her line if you haven’t already!
Here is her advice about what to expect when it comes to baby #2: “It’s impossible to be able to give 100% to each child at the same time. Instead of letting it get you down, accept it and make peace with it. But when it fun, it’s double the fun!”
I just love this Toronto mom who also happens to live not too far from me! She makes managing two look like a breeze, but she gives me the real deal with this advice:
“When baby number two arrives your body is still in pain and trying to recover. You’ve been slapped in the face with nursing all night and are utterly exhausted. You’re so in love with the new bundle yet your other baby is craving your attention and going through change, and you will miss the one on one time with them. You will likely feel guilty for not being able to focus entirely on each child. My advice is to ASK FOR HELP, as much help as you can get!
· Plan to have the grandparents over to spend those first days with your eldest — spoiling them with attention and making sure they are happy. You will be able to focus on your body, your new baby, and feeding.
· Extend the daycare hours for your first if you have the means.
· Make sure your hubby takes time off.
· Have a friend come over with coffee and go have a shower
Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. You will need it. Embrace it! And take those first days slow. With my first baby I was out for brunch on day 3 (after a third degree episiotomy). I was on cloud nine and didn’t take the time I needed. This time around, I was in bed for the first few days. I really wanted to heal properly and spend as much one on one time with my new baby.
Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. You will need it. Embrace it! And take those first day slow. With my first baby I was out for brunch on day 3 (after a third degree episiotomy). I was on cloud nine and didn’t take the time I needed. This time around, I was in bed for the first few days. I really wanted to heal properly and spend as much one on one time with my new baby.
Oh - and buy your eldest a kick ass present from the baby to ensure he / she feels special and likes the new bundle you are bringing home!!”
Thanks Daneta for sharing – you’re the best!
This mama is one kick-ass human being! She is always spreading positive energy, but not afraid to whip your butt into shape too. Lara is of my fave fit mamas on the gram and also happens to be from Toronto. In her words, she gives me some heartfelt advice:
“I found the hardest for me to transition to is opening your heart, energy and mind to another love of your life. I felt an immense amount of guilt that I wasn't enough for both my babies. I learned to be patient with myself, give up certain habits that I had with just my first child and create new habits to allow for two. But understand it won't just instantly click. It's a learning process that eventually you become an expert at. The triumphant victory of learning how to hold both of your babies in just the right way that satisfies their individual need for mama.”
You know when you virtually meet someone on Instagram and you just “click”? Well, this was the case with Denise. I have loved following her and her family through their little adventures in southern California. Here is the advice Denise gave me about going from 1 to 2 babes:
“REALLY TRY to cherish every moment of your second baby. Time passes by so much more quickly with looking after two little ones. I know it may seem like the cliche thing to say, but honestly I can hardly even remember Daslynn’s milestones because of how fast time flew by with having the both of them. Having Roz time was so slow and I got to enjoy it all, but when Daslynn came along everything zoomed by and I can hardly believe she is already 3! I feel like I almost missed out on her being a baby. All of a sudden she was a toddler! Like who, what, where, and how did this happen!?”
This is definitely a common thing I’ve heard from so many mommy friends!
I am lucky enough to say that I have had many opportunities to get to know Zehra off the gram and face-to-face instead! She is one of the sweetest mamas and is definitely not afraid to lift!
She’s not only strong in the gym, but she’s one mean cook in the kitchen! I love the advice she gave me. Here it is:
"You're body is going through so many changes. Sometimes we don't actually realize what that means. Learn to listen to your body, and try the give it what you feel it needs. Rest, activity, certain foods.
Also I always say to my clients, it took your body 9 months to grow a human and your body has changed. Give yourself that much time after to recover and get back to a place where you feel comfortable. It might not be where you were before, but learn to live the new you!"
I consider this mama a mentor and a good friend! I feel so honoured to have her to always call on for advice. When I asked her to share some insight on having #2, she opens up saying, "I remember being so emotional and scared before our second came, how could I love another baby as much as I loved our first? Would she feel as if she lost some of me to someone else? I was honestly very stressed about it all, even my husband was. But it seems the heart has enough space for each child. Nothing was taken away from our first, more was there to give. There are moments I feel pulled in two directions. They both always want me for bed time, well all the time really and you have to make a conscious effort to make sure they both get quality time with mama. That they both get the affection and cuddles. Going from 1 to 2 can become chaotic but it’s a beautiful chaos I wouldn’t change for the world.”
Becoming a Mom of 2
There you have it - words of wisdom from some of my favourite IG mamas. I mean, they all look like they are managing the chaos pretty good, right? I realize that there is no manual when it comes to motherhood and a lot of it is mother’s intuition. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
And for the record, I am pretty certain I am not going to be “sleeping when the baby sleeps” because I will have my little Harper to tend to. I guess that’s when another cup of coffee is needed. They say going from one to two kids is the hardest, but honestly the best part about all of this is that our kids will never judge either way; so whether I have used dry shampoo for the third day in a row or if I have to breast pump while playing house with Harper and the baby is napping, all that really matters is that we love both children with every inch of our heart and soul!